Funny Like That
by Anquake Frankly
Summary: The Avengers aren't generally known for being normal, they aren't at all. Sometimes though, in destroying aliens and dealing with SHIELD and other crazy things everyone just has a time where they're normal. Even superheroes.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Things that go Bump in the Night**

**Disclaimer: I own Naussin' (Nothing) except Jacy Potts, Aisha Potts, Rowland Potts, and Rachel Potts**

**Important info: Jacinta Prim Rose Potts Thomas is Loki's girlfriend. Somewhere in later** **stories ****(if there are any) it may say she's his wife/finacee/sex slave (naughty Tony that's rude) but right now she's his girlfriend.**

**Summary: Tony and Pepper are trying to get some sleep when they start to hear weird noises...hmm I wonder who it is...**

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There was a muffled noised below them and although both inventor and business woman hadn't had a good night's rest in months they were dragged from their heavenly and much needed rest.

"Did you hear that?"Tony began to drift back to sleep waving it off casually, right now he could care less.

"It's probably nothing." His voice came out in a tired slur as he weakly patted her arm and shut the one eye he had half open, this was one of those nights nothing was making him move he was just happy to be in bed almost asleep next to the most beautiful, amazing women he had ever met.

"But," she stopped at the sound of the eerie moan, "is that moaning?" They silenced at the sound of giggling, "and giggling?"

The billionaire sat up, scrubbing any signs of sleep from his eyes seeing as he probably wouldn't be getting any more of it for a long time, "oh_ that_, yeah you can probably guess who's making that noise."

"No actually I can't it's 2:55 in the morning everyone should be asleep," there was another noise from below them and she sighed, she thought everyone would be asleep by now once especially since she had her tinkering madman beside her and he was usually the last one to go to sleep. Thor fell asleep anywhere near Jane and she usually dragged him to bed or curled up next to him wherever he was, Steve was usually up late but he rarely ever made noise – let alone moaning and giggling, Bruce went to bed at 9:00 almost religiously, Darcy went to bed whenever she felt suit which was rarely ever past one in the morning, Rachel had a tight leash on Aisha and she went to bed at 9:30 every night, Clint and Natasha went to bed when they wanted to and occasionally fell asleep with the TV on but JARVIS would just turn it off while they slept there, Rowland hopefully isn't making that noise, and Rachel went to her room at 8:00 and is usually asleep by 11:00 at the latest. Leaving Jacy and Loki the only two that stay up to ridiculous hours, Jacy who deals with some nightmare disorder has an excuse for not wanting to sleep but Loki was just awake especially now that his best friend was back.

"No, it's almost three in morning there's no way they'd be…just eww." Tony laughed at fiancée and smirked.

"Just listen."

"No! God, no! I'm not listening to that…not that I think they're doing _it_, but no I'm not listening." She watched as he giggled childishly at another moan and her face became increasingly red, it did sound like they were having sex, she didn't want to believe it was otherwise she'd never be able to look at Loki and Jacy the same way. Everyone knew they were and they all made a good bit of laughs out of it even Loki, but hearing them through their _reinforced_ floor seemed just a little too ridiculous for the strawberry blonde to comprehend.

"I doubt it Tony it's just Natasha and Clint falling asleep in front of the television again."

He kept giggling like a little school girl, "fine why don't we ask JARVIS who is right, Hey JARV?"

"Yes sir?" Even the robotic AI sounded tired and in need of sleep and almost annoyed at being disturbed at three in the morning.

"What's making that noise?" She watched as he wiggled an eyebrow at her blushing face and a small smile spread across her face that even at three in the morning they were taking something so trivial as far as they were.

"I believe it is Jacinta and Reindeer Games ma'am."

He gave her an 'I told you so' look which she ignored and changed topics on the playboy "Reindeer Games?"

"Mr. Stark has programmed me to call Loki Reindeer Games at all times except when explaining to someone why I'm forced to call him by said nickname."

She rolled her eyes at him and he smirked back beginning to settle back down into bed. "So its settled, Loki and Jacy are getting smurfy, loud enough to be heard through the floor. Great, I'm going back to sleep."

"I bet they're just watching TV." Pepper corrected.

"I doubt it unless they're watching porn…I have a child safety lock on the TV for the dumb blondes and Aisha's sake and no one knows it but me." Pepper's face scrunched up rather childishly barely visible to Tony in the darkness, "fine, JARVIS what are Loki and Jacy doing."

They waited and even he sounded timid and embarrassed at what had to come out of his artificially intelligent mouth "as it would appear they are engaging in sexual intercourse, ma'am."

The genius who rarely ever seemed to be right rolled over to look at her with a grin on his face, "told you they were screwing around."

"I hate it when you're right," she laid down as well and shut her eyes only to be pulled back from the darkness by two sets of giggling, a very loud moan, and a loud thud.

"Okay, seriously? Who laughs that much during sex?"

"Its Loki what do you expect?" She couldn't believe she was having this conversation, she couldn't believe she could hear them in the first place it made her cringe a little; after all it was her niece. Jacy's almost like her daughter and _hearing_ her made her want to pull her hair out and stuff it in her ears to block out the noise.

"Can you tell them to...I don't know…be quieter?" Tony had learned to sleep through all sorts of noises and he was already going back to sleep until he heard his fiancée's request.

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"No I am not kidding you, Tony please?"

"But…but…what if I get scarred for life?" She rolled her eyes once more and held her head in her hand, the disturbing noises still a backdrop to their conversation.

"We went over this only illogical things freak you out Tony sex is science…basically." No wonder he likes it so much.

"Loki's dick is illogical! What if he's all smurfed out and she's all naked? No! I'm not going down there."

"Would you do it if I promised we can get smurfy tomorrow?" He seemed to listen to this and she smiled, he bit his lip and thought hard for a few seconds.

"_And_ you work from home tomorrow?" The business woman paused; it couldn't hurt to bring her work home for just one day after all being around her family might do all of them some good. She wanted to know how Rowland has been and Aisha's second grade life.

"Deal."

"Okay then," he sighed swinging his legs over the edge of the massive bed. "I swear if I see either of them naked…especially Loki I'm going to separate them or something." There was more noise. "Yeah I'm separating them either way. They're like freaking lab gerbils you just inject them with shit and suddenly they can't keep their grubby gerbil paws off each other."

Pepper laughed and watched as he left, "Loki's dick is illogical?" She shook the thought off quickly before any scarring mental images could come to mind and she laid down barricading her head in pillows hoping to drown out some of the noise.

IN THE HALL…

"Only illogical things freak you," he muttered aggravated almost as much by his fiancée as the noise making, walking, talking, pair of horny hormones. "I'm pretty sure seeing my niece in law naked is going to freak me out." Tony had actually begun to enjoy her company although she was banned from the lab after her last incident in there he liked having her around and seeing her boobs would probably make things really awkward for them.

Tony's always been unfortunate in these cases. He could count at least twelve occasions he walked in on them in various stages of touching. The whole reason he knows they like each other to begin with is he walked in on them kissing. Statistically the odds are against them. He could hear the noise all the way from the beginning of the hall, he wasn't sure if it was louder because he was getting closer or they were getting more intense.

"How do you even tell the Smurf Overlord of Mischief and his ditzy girlfriend/ best friend/ sex slave to pipe the hell down so everyone else could sleep?" He should have worn his armor. Jacy screamed and he jumped slapping one of Pepper's vase which he quickly lunged for and put back onto its small table.

"Jesus Christ!

" The inventor took a few seconds to calm himself scrubbing over his face again, "I totally take back the performance issues thing…I shouldn't have even mentioned that." It grew silent suddenly, "I don't even want to know what that means." He looked at all the shut doors and wondered why he was the only brave enough to intrude on them. You'd think with her mom being right down the hall obviously able to hear this and being the overly religious prude she is she should be totally pissed her daughter was having premarital sex with a genocidal deity. Or you'd think Natasha and Clint would be just a little miffed their sleep was interrupted by Loki of all people and his girlfriend. Maybe Thor might want to tell his baby brother to shut the fuck up for a few minutes better yet put the hammer on his back so he can stay still for the rest of the night, Bruce should have killed them both by now, but no one had done anything about it except the guy that was statistically screwed: Tony Stark.

He sighed and stood at the foot of their door looking at it, it mocked him with what nasty, smurfy horrors were going on inside and he cringed. "It's just them it's not that bad, do it Pepper, do it for sleep, do it for yourself." He repeated the mantra in his head until he had enough courage to knock.

He didn't expect the door to open so quickly, in fact he was hoping he could just talk through the door, "hey uncle Toooonnnnyyyy!" Jacy smiled at him and giggled giddily. Thank God she had Loki's shirt on even if it showed a less than modest amount of her cleavage it was better than her being naked. He looked behind her and saw Loki under the covers laughing madly.

"You lil' missy sound like a drunken idiot," his face was red with a hot blush under his skin.

"That's because you got me drunk you bastard!" Said uncle suddenly felt as though now was a very good time to leave before he was dragged into something he really didn't want to be a part of. A drunk Jacy and a drunk Loki is never a good thing.

"I just wanted to tell you to-"

"Uncle Tony I losts the game," she cut him off with more giggles and Loki smirked proudly, "and I won, she did put up a fairly good fight though."

A blush bloomed on her face and she dug her toe into the floor like a five year old, "Shit Loki…you made me blush all cute and stuff. Thank you."

"Okay you know what? I've seen and heard enough, I'm sorry you lost the game and I'm glad you won the game, but I just wanted to ask you two: could please shut the fuck up for the rest of night? Jacy get in bed, Loki go to own freaking room and stay there until the Sun rises, better yet stay there for a whole day." It would have been wise for him to figure out what sort of drunk Loki was before he said that to him, but he seeing as he didn't have an enraged, naked Loki trying to kill him he realized Loki is a happy drunk. The god just giggled and giggled and then giggled some more before finally speaking, "but Annnnnnnttthhhoooooonnnny my room is a cell, it's hoooooooot and I get loooooonnnnellllly and I really like Jacy." His voice was high pitched and whiny as he pouted like a child who didn't want to leave his friend's house.

Now he knew how Pepper felt when he was drunk, he's never doing this to her again. He knows he's lying to himself, but it means something to him right now "Loki put some clothes and get out of Jacy's room."

He pouted crossing his arms over his chest and glared at the ceiling, while Jacy had stayed mostly silent, "uncle Tony can he," she giggled "shay for de night, just til later I promise we'll be quiet. Please." He wondered how the hell a twenty two year old could look so innocent her big golden green eyes looked deep into his soul and begged for her boyfriend to stay in her bed for the rest of the night instead of leaving. He sighed, knowing Jacy every guy she slept with probably leaves after they're done with her and that somehow annoyed him. Jacy had become more than a friend sometimes he felt like he was the dad she never had. He didn't like the idea of someone using her then leaving her like a dirty crime scene.

"We'll be more quiet."

His niece started sinking into a drunk stupor and he picked her back up again. "Do you two promise to be quiet?" The two nodded childishly and he sighed. "Okay just be quiet."

She nodded and yawned, "uncle, Loki-bear I'm ready for nap." She laughed tiredly, "you fucked all the energy out me you son of a bitch." He only smiled and allowed her space on the bed enveloping her small body into his and Tony watched for brief moment as the ex-genocidal god seemed completely content he's drunk, he just had sex, and he seems to be with someone he really likes...correction...loves.

"Nighty night, don't let Pepper bite."

"Good night Anthony."

"Yeah…uhh good night you two…"he shut the light off and closed the door allowing the couple to finally rest.

"I don't know why I think they're so cute together…it's just fucked up."

BACK IN TONY AND PEPPER'S ROOM

"Did you get scarred for life?" Pepper asked with a smile on her face as he laid down tiredly putting his head on her lap.

"No, turns out though they're drunk and they were playing 'the sex game' God those two are complete idiots no wonder we kicked Loki's ass. Ya know when Loki's drunk he's just weird, I've never seen him giggle like that in my life. I need sleep and alcohol. _A lot_ of alcohol. Possibly amnesia." She kissed the top of his head and they sat in silence.

"At least it's silent," she laughed as he finally rolled off her and onto his side of the bed grumbling about how he could have slept through it.

"Yeah they fell asleep according to Jacy Loki fucked all the energy out of her; now I'm going to follow their suit and go the fuck to sleep. Night Pep love you."

"Tony you're an absolute mess, but that's why I love you. Good night."

THE NEXT MORNING…

Tony awoke and shuffled to the kitchen in search of coffee that someone had probably left out or made a few minutes before he came down. When he noticed the kitchen was empty, normally at least one person was still in the kitchen. Did he really sleep in that late? Then again with all the mess that went on last night he should be allowed to sleep in as late as he wanted.

"Oh Tony I was just about to wake you up, come look, be quiet though," she crept down the hall tiptoeing in the most un-Pepper like way he had seen in all his life.

"It's adorable," of course it had to do with Jacy, the whole team excluding Jacy's mom were peering into Jacy's room.

"What…oh my God."

Loki's face was turned sideways towards the door his arms hanging backwards and his butt high in the air whilst he snored and drool oozed disgustingly out of his mouth. His counterpart didn't look any better than he did most of her body hung off the bed and her arms were used as pillows on the hard floor. She looked like she was going to be having some serious neck pains when she woke up

"Wow…that's just…"

"I know," Clint laughed quietly behind his hand.

"Thor, are you sure he's adopted?" Steve looked at the other blonde then back at the black haired, sleeping idiot in front of him. Steve couldn't help but finally see the resemblance.

"He is adopted, but it does not mean he did not take after me in all those years." Jacy snorted loudly and the rest off her body fell off the bed.

"You know what?" Pepper said smiling. "I think we shouldn't let this go to waste, I think we should get a camera, get some markers and draw all over their drunken faces."Despite what many people thought, Pepper is capable of fun just not 'Tony's' fun.

"And Instagram?" Jacy's younger sister, Aisha, looked at her aunt curiously.

"Of course we're putting it on Instagram."

They looked at each other with mischievous grins of their own like children who had found their sister's diary and suddenly they were off sprinting for sharpies. Tony only looked at her and smiled.

"Gotta love those lab gerbils."

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**Thanks for sticking to the end if you do. R&R i like constructive criticism or just criticism (i have thick skin) anyways hopefully you could tolerate this so... Virtual hugs and...**

**Frankenstein &_#**

**If you have any questions I'll try to answer them (i highly doubt you'll ask any though because it seems as though people hate OCs which I get)**


	2. We Made this for You

**A/N: Just warning you know writing Tony and Bruce is something I'm not used to so hopefully this isn't too bad. Besides...challenges are good...most of the time. **

**Disclaimer: I own Nausinn' (Nothing) oh, I do own AJ and Bianca**

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"Bruce I need the thingy," Tony groped for the 'thingy' without looking, if he kept doing that he'd knock over the Bunsen burner and they'd have _another_ explosion.

"There's a lot of _thingy_'_s_ in this room Tony," he replied dryly. His scientist and best friend finally looked up muttering about how Bruce should know exactly what the _thingy _is by now and got up to retrieve it himself. He came back with a wrench, an extraordinary incredibly small wrench.

"This is _the _thingy."

Now he knew why he called it the thingy, you couldn't even call that a wrench. Bruce didn't ask any questions though; he learned ages ago sometimes it's just better to not ask for everyone's sake.

"You don't like being handed things," he stated quietly, once again he didn't ask, but he noticed that within the second day of doing science with him all those years ago when they were trying to track down Loki. "Didn't you almost faint when the doctors handed you your own daughter?"

"_Who told you_?" Tony narrowed his eyes at the scientist playfully. "_No one_ is supposed to know about that except—"He paused in his work, "Pepper is a cruel, cruel, gossiping woman." If a prank war ever had a scent, Bruce could practically smell it in the air.

"She only told Bianca and I just happened to overhear you're secrets safe with me."

The crossed scientist went back to work grumbling irritably to himself saying something around the lines of 'everyone's out to get me even my science bro.' He fumed childishly, "you almost Hulked-Out when you found out Betty was pregnant."

Bruce rolled his eyes, before taking the time to carefully measure something. The last thing they need is an explosion at four o'clock in the morning. "I didn't think it was possible…so I was surprised." Theoretically it's pretty much impossible, but somehow he had AJ and nothing awful had happen yet. **Yet**. Four years is an astonishingly long time for nothing catastrophic to happen, there were times he actually forgot what he is and what he's done. That doesn't happen often, it's actually never happened before.

"Dr. Banner and Sir I would like to make aware to you Princess Bianca and AJ the Great are approaching." The looked at each other, Tony sighed and Bruce turned off the Bunsen burner before either klutzy child could enter the room-why they're awake at four in the morning is still a mystery. Why JARVIS is calling them Princess Bianca and AJ the Great is even more a mystery.

"Calm down AJ you're such a wuss, I got this!" The all too familiar sound of the mini-Stark rounding the corner with the mini-Banner sitting on a sleeping bag being dragged across the floor made them chuckle. It sounded just like them.

"How many times have you said 'I got this' before something blew up," Bruce asked Tony knowingly.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "enough times to know those two were doing something they shouldn't have _again_." The first clue was they had a sleeping bag and they were wearing helmets and kneepads that were smeared with frosting. That's a bad sign.

They watched as she dragged a chair from the corner with all her six year old might and stood up on it with one those triumphant smirks. She looked almost exactly like Tony except with her hair always tied back like Pepper's. She _waved_ at the slightly annoyed and curious fathers before going back to pressing in the code. Bianca jumped off the chair and dragged the sleeping bag in which AJ was sitting on into the lab. From being in her long enough she carefully minded things not to step on and what to avoid.

"Hi," they said in unison, both of them looked like they had run through a frosting machine covered in every color from red to green to pink and blue from head to toe the two were a mess.

"I can tell you're annoyed, don't be because we were winging it and it's not as bad as it looks. Okay?" The six year old started slowly, AJ looked at her anxiously.

"You said you had a plan…"

She looked back at him tiredly, "winging it_ is_ my plan." It was like watching themselves from an alternate dimension if Tony was a six year old girl and Bruce was four years old.

"So for the past _four hours_ you've been winging it?" AJ looked like he was going to die of shock with his little nose scrunched up around his glasses. He did not sneak out of bed, sled down the stairs in a sleeping bag, make cupcakes and a card just so she could wing it. Now that he thought about it, how did sledding down the stairs in a sleeping bag sound like a plan?

"Exactly. Glad you could catch on genius."

Bruce finally spoke for the sake of his son who was crossing his arm dejectedly for being dragged into a plan-less idea. Bruce hates it when Tony does that and apparently so does he, "why are you guys up at four in the morning?"

They stopped arguing and looked up at the scientists debating on berating them for all the trouble they've probably caused while _winging it_. They knew they had to have caused some trouble while making this little scheme; it was impossible for them to have not caused trouble.

"You forgot its Father's Day?" They both ask expectantly.

Was it Father's Day? Tony and Bruce shared glances at each other they were predisposed to forget hours and days while they were down in the lab. Neither of them celebrated Father's Day to begin with, Father's Day is probably got to be their least favorite holiday so they forgot it often and when they didn't they _forced_ themselves to forget about it.

"Uh…Yeah. We forgot."

Bianca suddenly switched in to Pepper mode and sighed exasperatedly, "of course you forgot. I came prepared," she pronounced, "see, I made you this and we made cupcakes.

That explains the icing…

More importantly she was holding up two sheets of paper one in Red and yellow colored pencil and the other in Purple and Green.

"And don't start with that I don't like getting handed stuff. You _need_ to see this." She forcefully shoved the piece of paper into his hand and closed his fingers around it. Tony looked down at the paper and Bruce did with his own.

_Dear Daddy, Happy Father's day because you're best daddy in the whole universe and…_

_9x-7 i 3(3x-7u)_

_ 9x-7i 9x-21u_

_-9x -9x_

_7i __-21u_

_-7 -7 _

_ I 3u _

_ Love, _

_Bumble Bee_

_ P.S. We left a giant mess in the kitchen and we might need your help…sorry blame AJ_

_ Dear Dad, Happy Father's day. I don't care what anyone else says you're the bestest dad I could ever have no matter what and…_

_ 100(20)- 57 (3)+ 4(28.5= 143 (it means I love you 'cause I do…a lot.)_

_ Love, _

_ AJ _

_ P.S. If Bianca blames me for the mess in the kitchen I'll admit I like icing too much…sorry. I love you daddy. _

Tony and Bruce looked at the slips of paper caked with icing in their hands; it had to be the sweetest, most adorable gift they had ever gotten. Tony's gotten a lot of gifts in his lifetime, but this one had to be one of his favorites _ever_; it actually meant something, it wasn't because he wanted it or they were supposed to, but because she thought he deserved it_. _Bruce was just speechless, he doesn't get many gifts especially ones that make him feel cared for. Their eyes stung more than they would have cared to admit, out of the corner of his eye he saw Tony rub a 'tired' hand over his eyes and he quickly blinked back tears before kneeling to AJ's level.

"Thank you AJ," he carefully hugged the fragile little boy and felt skinny arms wrap around his neck, he may not always get what he wants, but he did this time and there was no catastrophe that could take him away.

Tony looked over at his friend, hugging his son and felt a warm little hand tugging his, "I put a lot of effort into this…" she took off her helmet and gave him a cupcake too. He was being handed all sorts of stuff today. It kind of freaked him out- only a little.

"I know Bee." He picked up the cupcake covered in pink and blue and sprinkles the whole thing looked like Unicorn shit, but he took a bite anyways because she put a lot of effort into it. He then picked up his daughter in his other arm and sat down next to Bruce with her in his lap and AJ in his. These cupcakes weren't half as a bad as they looked.

Tony and Bruce shared a brief thought it was written all over their faces, _maybe Father's Day isn't so bad…maybe you could be handed things…maybe AJ isn't a tragedy waiting to happen. _

AJ gave Bruce a cupcake; the four year old already had one. The scientist smiled with their little scientist and one last thought crossed the billionaire's mind.

"Hey JARV?"

"Yes sir?"

"Do us all a favor and snap a pic of this, I'm gonna wanna remember it." They all smiled, the four of them are always going to want to remember this.

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**Guess that wasn't too bad if you stayed to the end...so I reward you with... **

**Frankenstein _# **


	3. Jumpers

So far, the amazing Avenger, _the_ Hawkeye had been subjected to one of the most normal things a parent could do: stalking and keeping tabs on his son (okay he thought it seemed normal. He's a assassin! He has the right to be paranoid) and tonight it had led him to a billboard on one of the tallest buildings in Manhattan.

"Of course damned kid goes all the way up here at two in the morning," he went up towards the roof muttering to himself. Jack, his fourteen year old son, has a tendency to wander—far. Usually toddlers wear those little leash things over protective soccer moms get, but right now the archer could really use one. He went up on the roof and found the teen sitting on the edge of the billboard with one of those faraway looks in his eye. Not a good sign.

"Hey Jackie," Clint slowly approached him and took a seat nimbly next to him, one wrong move and they could probably both go tumbling over the edge; it was already windy and cold as is.

"Knew you'd find me," Jack pulled his knees up to his chest and looked at him with red eyes. If he intended to keep his masculinity and deny crying up here that would have already been impossible. His voice croaked like it was still clogged from the aftermath of the tears.

He tried to keep his hands from sweating as he connected the pieces: crying, faraway look in his eyes, and in a really high place. "Jack," he started warily, "what are you doing?" This had to be one of his really bad pranks. He wasn't seriously thinking about jumping?

"Thinking," he murmured.

"About?"

"Not being down there, I don't want to be down there." That's a good sign that he doesn't want to be a pancake on the ground, but wanting to stay up here didn't sound too good either.

"Dad, can I just stay up here forever?" His voice hitched painfully when he said 'dad' and he had feeling what Jack had on his mind and what had driven him to want to be so high up away from the ground, away from people.

"Trust me if you could I would be up here next to you, but you can't and neither can I. There's things we need to face down there." Clint carefully maneuvered himself closer to Jack and pulled his slightly shaken form into a tight hug. It was cold as fuck up there.

"But I don't want to face it. I can't."

"No you probably can't," that had caught Jack's attention and he looked up at him with big blue eyes, "I'm not done yet Snippy. Have I ever told you you can't do something?"

"You told me I couldn't hit a girl outside of training."

"That was different, I meant, have I ever told you you couldn't achieve something?"

The younger blonde shook his head slowly, "no, not until now…"

He mustered about as fatherly a smile an assassin could have and squeezed him reassuringly, "I wasn't done yet, I was going to say: not by yourself, you'll have me and your mother, your sister, Uncle Coulson, Aunt Maria, and Grandpa Fury on your side. Your dad is not going to find you; with us around you're safe."

The older of the two assassins looked down noticing they had started to attract quite a crowd down there a group of twenty or so people were staring straight up into the night sky at the billboard they were sitting on. Oh great, now they think they're both suicidal.

"Jackie we have some company, I think it's time we get down now," shit. They had cell-phones, if the kid wasn't in mental and emotional distress he would _so_ be grounding him by time he got home for getting him into this with soon to be police and everything. The sniper continued to eye the crowd warily.

Jack looked down at the crowd and his eyes got wider, "no…" his voice came out in a low whisper taken by the wind. "No…please not yet."

"Jack they're going to eventually going to call the cops because they think we're going to jump," the kid was past reasoning. With his shaking it was miracle the billboard wasn't shaking and even more of a miracle they hadn't fallen yet.

"I was…maybe…I don't want to die. I just—want to… fly? Does that make any sense? I know I'd fall, but…I don't know man. When I'm up here things are clearer—but when I'm falling, when I can't breathe because the winds whipping too fast, when I don't have gravity I feel…better." He pressed his head into his adoptive father's chest and silently battled his demons. Jack had simultaneously settled all thoughts of leaving before he could, they wouldn't be going anywhere for a while.

Clint sighed at the sirens in the distance and made himself comfortable against his son; they wouldn't be leaving anytime soon even if the police showed up. He ran his fingers through his messy blonde hair without a word and let him shake. The archer learned a long time ago with Natasha; you can't fight someone else's demons no matter how badly you want to do it for them.

He looked over the police were closer, close enough that he could see their cars zooming down a street or two away from them. Natasha always left for missions at the worst times and Jack always waited until it was just the two of them to pull this sort of shit. Damn kid acted like he had an on and off switch; Natasha was home and he acted fine, Natasha left and suddenly he couldn't get a hold of himself. Now that he thought about it that was pretty hypocritical, but this was different— it was like Jack horded all emotions just for him. Something told him it was because he trusted him more- he felt safest with both of them, but safer with Clint around than just Natasha.

Two police men got out their cruiser, the assassin sighed. Doctors and cops have always gotten on his nerves, back in Iowa they were blind and useless as hell. He assumed when it came to jumpers they'd be taking their time just waiting for them to jump instead of actually trying. One was a tall, lanky rookie it was written all in his stance and judging by the annoyed look on his face he hated being out here at almost three in the morning when it's cold as fuck in the middle of January. Clint couldn't blame him, it's not fun being up here either.

"Jack…"he spoke quietly to his murmuring son quietly. "Police are here." He highly doubted he'd care, but he thought he'd just tell him anyways.

"I know…not moving. Please. Don't leave." Jack's grip tightened on him and he pulled himself closer, "I wanna stay up here for just a few more minutes I promise and…this will never happen again. I'll never leave and go too high like this or do something too stupid. I promise, just let me stay _please._"

Clint rolled his eyes and wondered how long that promise would last, but right now it was real so he went with it. "Okay, but I'm not going to jail for you because you wanted to feel the wind in your hair Snippy." He laughed. That was a good sign. His voice was a little less monotonous too, that pubescent voice he had taken in sounded more like him. His Jack is back. For now he had a feeling Jack would be okay, he wouldn't jump, he wouldn't freak out. Jack was just flat out exhausted and slightly high strung at this point; Clint can handle high strung.

The rookie was saying something to them, but even with a megaphone they were so high up and it was so windy neither of them could hear a word he was saying to them. Then a stereotypical cop got out the car, and stereotypical by Clint's standards meant: short, fat, and probably useless-the type that couldn't find tits in a strip joint. They talked for a bit before the fat one went inside probably to try to talk them down from the roof where they could actually hear.

"When the police man comes up here I'll have to leave you for a bit and explain to him we're a.) Not jumping and b.) Pretty damn insane and psychiatric visitation would only make us worse."

"Broken to the point of being fixed?" He asked tiredly against him as he started to lose consciousness, poor Jack looked utterly drained.

"Exactly."

The father looked up at the stars and sighed, Tasha was going to_ love_ to hear about this when she gets back. Hell, Coulson going to skin him alive for letting Jack get this far, and he'd probably torture Jack with a ton of books for letting himself ever think this was a good idea.

He heard the roof to the door open and the red faced and fat cop stepped out looking at the two of them with a patient, almost insultingly wary glance. Of course Officer Useless thought they were insane or probably some sort of crazy. Actually he's right, they both are.

"I'll be right back okay, I'm serious when I say don't go anywhere." He looked down and realized the kid was asleep. He fell asleep on him, _evil little brat_. If Coulson didn't get his hands on him first, Clint surely would and he will. He's sure of that with _conviction._

"I'm giving this dyslexic son of a bitch so many books to read it's going to make his head spin."The assassin maneuvered his body so he could stand and then pick up his son with killing them both. He lifted the weightless fourteen year old into his arms with almost no effort and skillfully scaled down the billboard with one arm.

"Err…Halt!"

Clint jumped down the rest of the way and looked at the cop with his piercing blue eyes. Officer Useless was obviously out of his comfort zone, he probably had dealt with actual Jumpers, but not Jumpers who weren't actually Jumpers.

"I'm halting…"

Once again the cop was wordless and sat there, yup, he was the stereotypical cop through and through-couldn't find tits in a strip joint.

"I'll make this easy for you. I wasn't going to jump; my son here," he gestured to Jack asleep in his arms, "was more or less debating it. I kind of talked him out of it, by time the crowd down there had showed up we were just talking. He likes high places which explains why we didn't vamoose immediately, now…by time you two got here he was on his way to falling sleep…" he didn't want to say he was battling with his past, that was something he knew Jack wouldn't want him to say. "So I just enjoyed the view until you came up here and I thought since he's no longer awake to protest and I'll have to explain all of this to you I might as well get down. Make sense?"

"Umm..." This probably went down as one of the weirdest nights Officer Useless has ever had in his entire life; sure to be one of his dinner table conversations. "Well," he recovered from his shock slowly, "do you think he'll be planning on doing it again?" He tipped his sweaty head towards Jack.

"I doubt it; he's kind of…had it rough lately." If you could call constant nightmares and the strange visions he's been trying to hide from them 'having it rough.'

"Oh," The assassin swept right past him with his air of tired lethal-ness behind him. Tired enough that he didn't have the patience for crap and lethal enough to knock you out with one painful grab of your pressure point.

"Have a good night officer, this probably won't happen ever again. And…if you see us up here sometime in the future don't freak out." Clint smirked when he paled, "I think this giant billboard's starting to grow on me it has one hell of a view." He left with his son safe and asleep in his arms. Safe, Clint put all his being into keeping his family safe no matter what. Who would have guessed a cruel assassin would also be one of those over protective parents?

* * *

**A/N: This is probably one of my favs...thanks for reading have a nice day and **

**Frankenstein _#**


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